A Welcomed Paw (Assignment)

The dark furred, four-moon-old tom kit padded out of the nursery before dawn for his usual morning rounds checking over the camp, only this time he didn’t bother nudging his littermate awake to join him. Bridgekit was in a state of mild emotional turmoil – had been for a good week or so now – and these feelings weren’t helped at all in light of recent events.

Bridgekit slunk around the edge of the camp, paying very little attention to where he was going or what he was doing – so far from his usual, intensely focussed self. He stared blankly down at his paws, golden eyes listless and large ears drooped.

In less than two moons, his entire life had been tipped on its head, and he and his brother had been expected to cope with it all, like they had no problems at all.

And really, that came to the head of his first real concern: Roekit.

Roe had always been introverted and shy, but since being taken in by Highclan, his naturally gentle, quiet energy had converted itself into nervousness and anxiety. Roekit, despite all his attempts to make connections and acquaintances in the clan, was severely handicapped by his own fear. Bridge watched his brother surreptitiously, and knew that Roe had reached out to only a bare few cats, and had connected with even less – perhaps just Shadeblossom,  Roe’s friend Rookkit and that tiny little fuzzball. What was its name... Dunekit? But even with those few bonds, Roe was often times left on his own.

Bridge had always considered himself more of a loner than his smaller, bob-tailed brother, but now... Well, he’d notice Roe frequently wandering off by himself at all hours, and the fawn coloured kit seemed to seek solace in his own company. Quite frankly, Bridgekit was worried.

And of course, that led to concerns over Shadeblossom, who’d been very quiet and sad herself since her horrid, stinking mate had tried to betray the clan. Although Bridgekit had never actually met Fallendreams face-to-face, he’d never felt particularly warm towards the mate of his foster mother – simply for the fact that Shadeblossom had always seemed pensive and wistful whenever Fallendreams name was brought up in conversation. It made Bridgekit worry that she’d somehow known all of this might come to fruition, and he couldn’t stand the thought of his sweet, kind foster mother marring her own gentle nature with such horrid things! He’d said nothing to anyone – not even his own brother – but he really did love Shadeblossom like a second mother, and the thought that she might have suspected this sort of thing to happen... It felt a little like a betrayal. He hadn’t know how to act around her since the death of her mate, but his naturally suspicious nature made him withdraw from her – he was uncertain, uncomfortable and upset.

But he also felt an overbearing protectiveness to his foster mother, and he had to actively resist the urge to arch and hiss at any adult that approached her nest. He found himself pacing back and forth, unwilling to play with his friends and too preoccupied to pay any mind to his rivals. He’d spared hardly any of the other kits so much as a glance, aside from the occasional growl to kits from other nests when they grew too carelessly and obnoxiously loud around his clearly mourning foster family. He didn’t want any of them to feel bad – Palekit included, despite whatever personal vendetta he might feel towards her. She had lost her father, and he knew from experience that that was hard.

Bridgekit came to a stop on the ledge overlooking the mountain path he’d tried to escape down time and time again, but he felt very little desire to embark on any such escape mission just then.

The scratches around his right eye itched as his sank down onto his belly, reminding him that really, he should want to go. He knew that his brash, foolhardy personality was an unattractive front at the best of times, but it was just that – a front. He didn’t understand clan hierarchy and he’d never had to try and please everyone before joining the clan. When he was scared or nervous, he didn’t recoil the way that his brother did – he lashed out at whatever was making him feel that way. It caused a lot of uncomfortable situations and at times he wished he’d just spent a little longer trying to appease those that he’d fallen out with, but that just wasn’t in his nature. He found it incredibly difficult to lower his defences, and a lot of clan cats either shrugged it off and left him to himself, or took his lack of social skills personally and retaliated in kind.

More than anyone would have probably ever thought, he was really rather self conscious – and he was also a lot more intelligent than other cats often gave him credit for.

He knew it was his own fault that so many of the clan cats disliked him, and he also understood that many cats just rolled their eyes when he started telling his tall tales, but it was just his way of coping. He was just grateful to Dandelionkit, Blossompaw and Sockkit for being there to distract him, and even a few others for putting up with his oftentimes short temper. And he was getting used to Highclan, even if it wasn’t really out of choice. This place was becoming home to him, and his memories of life as a loner were slowly becoming fainter in his mind... He’d already said his goodbyes to his old life, but it still hurt. After all, a kit’s parents were his world, and to lose them was an awfully terrifying thing. He might go on yowling and caterwauling about how his parents would someday find him and his brother and take them away from this horrid clan, but it was all part of his act.

They weren’t coming though and everyone knew they were gone –Bridgekit had been one of the first to know. He just stayed loud, obnoxious and defiant, because it helped him avoid the inevitable hurt – and it was what people were coming to expect from him.

He resisted the urge to peer back towards the nursery, the same odd worries bubbling up the the surface of his mind. The pain of his parents’ probably deaths was old in his mind, but the death of that nasty traitor was really hurting his foster family... On top of that there was Roe to look after.

The problem was that he had no idea what to do about any of it, and as always, the lack of real control or direction was panicking him.

He was so absorbed in his own worries that he didn’t hear the paws padding towards him until the tall, dark-furred figure of one Shiningwing towered over him.

“You’re not trying to escape again, are you?” the tom cat sighed, sounding dramatically exasperated and even a little pained at the thought. “I mean, sure your mother was always doing whatever she pleased, coming and going, telling everyone that she was made for adventure – and oftentimes I would embark on those long, treacherous journeys with her, for our friendship... err, love was like nothing else and we were inseparable – but really she might be a little concerned that her clan-born son was trying to slum it out in the nasty, untamed mountain wilderness...” When it became apparent that Bridgekit wasn’t refuting any of his wild claims or even paying proper attention, Shiningwing’s words trailed off, and he took the liberty to sit down next to the clearly troubled kit.

Before Bridgekit realised what he was doing, he was voicing all the worries that he’d been keeping cooped up, and once it had started he just couldn’t seem to make it stop.

“I dunno what ta do... I think this place is home now (which I bet your real smug about, ain’t ya?), but I dunno how ta act. I ain’t a clan cat an’ I dunno how I’m s’posed ta deal with all this stuff goin’ on. I wanna look after Roe an’ Missie an’ all her kits, but I know I ain’t big enough, an’... An’...” He gulped the words down hard, large ears flattening defensively and large, scarred nose scrunching up as he tried to reign himself in. He felt vulnerable and silly, and naturally his temper flared to try and defend himself. He didn’t want to lash out again – he’d had enough of that – but he didn’t know how to stop himself.

His head snapped round and he took a deep breath to turn all of his dislike onto Shiningwing—

—and then froze as something heavy and soft landed atop his head. Dumbstruck and entirely shocked by this turn of events, he stared numbly up at the tom cat who was pretending to peer off into the skyline. The large paw on his head stayed there reassuringly as Shinignwing cleared his throat and said in his usual cocky tone, “Hey, stop worrying. As long as amazingly strong and handsome toms like me are around to look after everyone, you don’t have to be anyone but yourself. Your parents would’ve wanted you to be a kit without any worries, Bridgekit – I know this, because we were the closest of friends.”

Bridge felt a lump rise in his throat at the feel of the comforting weight, memories of his father bubbling up in his mind. He may have been very grateful to the tom cat that was simultaneously the most frustrating and the most relatable adult, and he may have even leaned into the steady paw a little, but then no one would ever be the wiser. Except Shiningwing of course, but then again he was already distracted, waxing lyrical about the rising sun.

“...And your father told me to tell you that everything the light touches - everything - is our kingdom—”

“Shinin’wing?”

“Mm?”

“Shaddup now. Stupid fox dung.”

“Watch it, you nose-on-legs.”